AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Travel and tourist jokes and funny stories.

This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm
needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't
read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window.
She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't
repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions."
She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?"
And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel
bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?"
she sighed.
"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my
partner can buy the ticket!"

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out
and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears
some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of
his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the
man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."

Helpful advice for travellers:
If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you.
BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the
SAME TIME with a bomb?

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same
sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both
manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly
pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better
idea... let's pretend we're married."

"Why not?" giggles the woman.

"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."