Travel and tourist jokes

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The tourist: "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"

Rating: 3.4 |

Windsor castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourist was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude making a tremendous amount of noise. One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?"

Rating: 2.8 |

A pair of tourists were out in the fields when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm house. Of course they're curious so they drop a small stone into the well, but they never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a larger rock and drop it into the well but once again hear nothing. They decide they need something larger and search the farm yard for a larger object. After much struggle, they manage to drag a large railroad tie to the edge of the well and drop it over the edge.

After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand in amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is looking for a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat diving into the well.

"That couldn't be my goat", the farmer replies, "My goat was grazing in the field roped to a railroad tie!"

Rating: 4.6 |

"Were you in Paris on your vacation?"

"I don't know, my wife got the tickets."

Rating: 2.6 |

Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives.

"Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist.

"Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"

He points at a palm tree and says, "what is that?"
The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "and that?"
The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!"

"You see!", says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same word means 'index finger'!"

Rating: 3.8 |

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