Travel and tourist jokes
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A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an
older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing
the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a
good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a
rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension
you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to
a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets
and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly
accepted, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And
how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight
was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.
But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room
with?"
There was some mix-up with a woman's room. The
clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was
trying to remedy the situation. He asked, "Would you
like an inside cabin or an outside cabin?" She
replied, "Well, it looks like it might rain today.
I'd better get an inside cabin."
Someone -- always a man -- always asks, "does the
ship run on generators?" The Cruise Director usually
tells them, "No, we just have a very long power line
running to the mainland."
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with "I'm not
trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in
Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I
calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is in Africa." Her response... click.
The frightened tourist: "Are there any bats in this cave?"
The guide: "There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them."
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