AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Travel and tourist jokes and funny stories.

There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress. On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"

Teacher: I'd like a room, please. Hotel Receptionist: Single, Sir?
Teacher: Yes, but I am engaged.

A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant,
"Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare's birthplace?"
"Ay, straight on, sir," said the rustic, "but no need to hurry. He's dead."

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?
I'm sorry to leave, now that I've almost bought the place.

On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. "I hope this spaceship doesn't travel faster than sound. "Why?" replies the cabin steward. "Because my friend and I want to talk, that's why."